How it began
Before the start of my healing journey, I was a high-achieving perfectionist.
Always overscheduled and busy with activities.
Not because I enjoyed it, but rather out of a sense of duty and obligation.
I thought to myself, if I was just working hard enough and did everything that was expected of me, I would receive the love I needed.
I was a "good girl", attractive and well-behaved on the outside, but incredibly anxious on the inside.
In school, I worked incredibly hard and felt tremendous pressure to make the highest grades.
If I got a B I felt like a failure.
The constant stress and anxiety started to affect me physically.
I was very thin and had difficulty nourishing myself because I felt so scared.
I had frequent stomach aches.
Sometimes before important performances or races, I vomited due to my intense anxiety and fear of not being perfect.
Things got worse
I developed trust issues when some significant relationships fell apart.
I felt very lonely and afraid of getting hurt.
My anxiety continued to escalate, and I felt entirely out of control of my body.
It was unbearable.
The fear of failure was overwhelming.
My goal was simply to feel better and to figure out why I felt this way.
Because everything looked so good on the outside, it was difficult for me and others to understand why I felt this way.
I began to have some hope once I made an appointment with a therapist.
Real is better than perfect
Dorothy Baldwin Satten, PhD
My healing journey
I started my healing journey with advice from my family doctor.
At the time, I didn't feel comfortable with the idea of going to therapy.
What would people in my community think about me?
Luckily, my desire for change was greater at that moment than my fear.
So I went anyway.
By the grace of the universe, I stumbled upon a methodology and a practitioner with integrity that helped me save my life.
Unlike traditional talk therapy, this revolutionary method was called psychodrama, sociometry and group psychotherapy.
It was developed in the 1930s by a Viennese psychiatrist who immigrated to New York in 1925 and helped me to heal the deep, underlying core issues that were causing my pain and distress.
It wasn't an instant recovery; it happened over time.
Sometimes my perfectionistic tendencies would reemerge.
Other times I would fall back into old harmful behaviors, just to accommodate people in my family and community, at the expense of my own mental health.
Therapy allowed me to confront many feelings that I had once banished in the "negative, socially unacceptable emotion" category.
The transformational journey
I kept showing up for myself.
I went to regular appointments.
I built trust and safety with my therapist, and I committed to doing the work.
At times, I would arrive shaking like a leaf, unsure of what I might uncover.
Over time, I was able to access feelings I wasn't even aware I had.
Examining my emotions using this modality gave me the strength I needed to heal.
Some people didn't understand this journey and wondered what a smart, attractive, kind woman needed with all this therapy.
But I kept on my path.
While others looked at me with confusion, my clarity kept increasing.
With each day, I was able to operate from a place where my feelings and thoughts were aligned.
I gained many new and healthy relationships that loved and valued me for who I was.
I was more deeply connected with my friends and built new relationships that valued this more relaxed, conscious self that acted in integrity and listened to my heart.
My dating life shifted, and I was more connected with people who treated me with respect.
I met the love of my life on a blind date arranged by my lovely Aunt.
My husband is one of my biggest cheerleaders, he saw the light in me as I saw in him, and we built and continue to build a life that aligns with our collective values.
I felt less anxious and more empowered to honor myself.
I learned to listen to all the parts of me, even the ones that I had tried to suppress, unconsciously.
I was able to listen to my body and view it as an ally rather than an adversary.
I began to feel at home inside myself.
You are the hero of your own story.
Joseph Campbell
My healer journey
I knew exactly what I wanted to do.
Having received the golden keys of healing allowed me to unlock myself from a life of anxiety and create an authentic and fulfilling life.
I wanted to share the gift of healing with others by becoming a psychodramatist, sociometrist, and group psychotherapist.
I started my undergraduate degree by pursuing a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and Elementary Education from a small liberal arts college.
In 2006 I began both my Master’s in social work and my training to become a certified practitioner of psychodrama, sociometry, and group psychotherapy, overseen by the American Board of Examiners in psychodrama, sociometry, and group psychotherapy.
This certification process is one of the most, if not the most, rigorous certification processes in psychology.
It requires all certified practitioners to complete extensive personal work to ensure the integrity and ethical practice of the modality.
By 2013 I had received over 1000 training hours by primary and secondary trainers.
Writing my own story
For over 10 years, I've been working in various clinical settings including hospice, in-home therapy, Eating Disorder recovery, women addiction recovery, and group therapy for clients with mood disorders in a hospital setting while also seeing clients in the evening in my private practice.
I found my niche in supporting adults to heal from anxiety, grief and relationship issues.
After taking some time off to settle into my role as mother of two, I realized I was missing one of my first loves, my role as a therapist.
In June 2020 I opened my private practice in Boulder, CO. It is one of my greatest honors in life to walk alongside my clients as they heal and create the life they want.
This is not the end of my story, nor is it yours.
To this day, I continue to work with the most skilled psychodramatists in the U.S. to help me grow as a woman, wife, mother, and therapist.
As a therapist, it is my responsibility to go as deep as possible into myself to assist others in accessing their most creative, spontaneous selves to achieve their full potential.
Psychodrama brings power to the people!
John Rasberry, LMFT, TEP
Today
Understanding is not enough to change behavior.
This is why many of us know what to do, but don't do it. 😉
To create the life you want, you must align both head and heart.
A real life is far more fulfilling, richer, and giving than a perfect one.
To break free from your limiting beliefs, you must be willing to examine the messages and experiences that shaped your life to this point.
The key to a juicy, creative life is courage, consistency, and therapy that works.
Dreams and creations are within your power and freedom.
Having the courage to be yourself and to create allows you to reap great rewards.
Allow yourself to operate from an attraction-based mindset and see what happens.
My life today is far beyond what I originally imagined.
My mission
I'm deeply humbled to have been able to dream again and continue to create through psychodrama, sociometry, and group psychotherapy.
Despite obstacles, there are always opportunities for growth in life.
I live in Boulder, Colorado, a city that aligns with my values.
I deeply love my partner and children and I have a private practice that I value and love.
With courage, dedication, and effective therapy, I believe that change is possible and that a life of purpose can be created.
I am not trying to help you live a life like mine.
My goal is to help you create a life that is uniquely yours, a life that aligns with your values, truths and dreams.